Self-care is not a dirty word

“Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health.”

When we are caught up in life’s busyness, we can forget to look after our self; to make sure we do those things that keep us happy, energised and physically able to do the things we love and the things we need to do. We tend to think, “oh, that can wait. I can get that later, and I’ll still be ok.” This is true to a degree. However, if this becomes a regular pattern, then eventually we become depleted.

The truth is, regular self-care is essential when it comes to improving mood and reducing anxiety. The goal is making it part of your daily life and something that’s easy to do. Remember, it’s about reducing stress, so choose activities that are enjoyable and make this a priority in your life.

I like this explanation by psychologist Agnes Wainman. 

“… self-care is something that refuels us, rather than takes from us.”

The idea is that self-care practices give us energy and calm. That they refresh and rejuvenate us, and bring us joy. That the practices we create are about honouring our wellbeing physically, emotionally and spiritually.

So, what are some of the simple things we can incorporate into our daily life? Well, there are plenty to choose from, and I encourage you to experiment to find the right fit for you. Remember, it’s meant to be joyful and enjoyable. It is about replenishing, calming and grounding yourself. Regular practice will intensify the results, and you will be able to drop in to that practice much more easily when it becomes part of your daily routine.

 

Breathe

I can hear you saying “But I do breathe, every day, all the time!” And so, I ask you;

How do you breathe? Shallow, fast, long, slow, erratic, focused?
Have you taken notice of how you breathe, especially when you’re under the pump?

I know when I’m stressed or in avoidance, I tend to hold my breath. Holding our breath adds stress and decreases cognitive function. It reduces our ability to logically work through the situation because our body goes into flight or fight mode – an automatic reaction. Sometimes this can’t be avoided, because let’s face it, life throws little curveballs to keep us on our feet.

Regular breathwork can help bring about a state of calmness and clarity and decrease levels of stress. It also helps to improve a range of issues including:

• Anger
• Anxiety
• Chronic pain
• Depression
• Emotional effects of illness
• Grief

There are several breathwork practices you can try; that way you can choose one that resonates best with you. Here are just a few you might like to try.

• Wim Hof Method Breathing
• 4-7-8 Breathing Technique
• Diaphragmatic Breathing
• Pursed lip breathing
• Alternate nostril breathing

 

Movement

Again, it doesn’t have to be complicated. No major gym workout, unless of course you love going to the gym. Our body and our mind need movement to stay healthy and happy, which equates to a happy and healthy you. Even a simple walk around the block will have a positive effect, especially when adding a mindfulness practice to it. As you walk, take note of what’s around you. Notice the shades of green in the foliage, the texture in the trees and even the pavement. Look for the light and shade as you take each step. Feel the breeze or sun on your face. Be present and feel the energy moving through you.

If you feel pressed for time, then start with 5 minutes. Begin with a quick walk up and down the hall at work or home, and eventually increase this to a 20-30 minute walk in nature. I love walking early in the morning, sometimes before others are up and about.

Another activity you can do is dance at home, out with friends or join your local Nia Dance group. There’s a wonderful freedom and joy that comes with dance, and remember to do it your way – your body’s way. It’s about having fun, so put on your favourite music and dance away! Just 5 minutes and you’ll begin to feel the benefits.

Some of my friends love to run and have joined groups or created groups. There’s a fabulous community that comes with your local Parkrun which is available all over the world so as you travel; you can join in anywhere. And you can even walk instead of running!

Yoga is another fabulous activity because there are so many levels and types available. When I’m in Bali, I always attend the classes at Intuitive Flow Yoga in Ubud. I particularly love their Yoga Pranala classes because breathwork and mindfulness are incorporated into the practice. Yoga can also be very physical so try different classes to work out what you love best. For me, it’s about the connection to heart, so I look for classes and instructors who are focused on the ancient yogic practices. For you, it may be about Hot Yoga, Iyengar or even Aerial Yoga.

I also love Foundation Training which works for any age group and is designed so that you can do it anywhere and without any equipment. All you need is a little bit of time. Start with a Basic Founder, which will take you all of 5 minutes and increase your practice gradually. You’ll find some excellent YouTube videos by Dr Eric Goodman and his team. Even better yet, check out the website for a local trainer. I just love how John Gannon from Posture Strong incorporates Wim Hof breathwork – and the ocean swim post-workout!

Clinical Pilates is another fabulous form of self-care, and it’s tailored to meet your specific and individual needs. It combines mindfulness through focus on the particular exercise, breath work to engage the muscles and is a great way to improve strength, mobility, flexibility and balance. If you’re on the Gold Coast, Australia then I can highly recommend Nicole Calvino from Little Sanctuary, who is excellent with the technical knowledge and very supportive during the session.

 

Write it Out

Journaling is a powerful way to get things out of your head. The Artists Way by Julia Cameron has a practice where each morning you sit and write Morning Pages. You write without editing and without reading what you’ve written. The idea is to get it out, let it flow, thereby releasing what’s holding you back and opening up your creative channels.

Now if you don’t have 20 minutes, that’s okay. You can simply write out some dot points of what’s on your mind – the good, the bad, the ugly. Just let it all go without any judgement. Just let it go. Let if flow.

And remember to add some Gratitudes to your journaling. Choose a beautiful book for this so that it reflects and inspires you to record those moments that have brought you joy. I’ve read 10 is the magical number, but if that’s not easy for you, start with 1 or 2 each day and build it up to 10. Your gratitudes can just be brief words, or you can elaborate and write a sentence, add some images or draw. Just like the daily Morning Pages to start your day by writing out, Gratitude journaling is a wonderful way to close each day and bring the focus back to heart centred consciousness.

Little Love Notes are a beautiful way to anchor in positive affirmations to yourself, from yourself. Get some gorgeous note paper, sticky notes, cards, or make some yourself, and then write a loving message to yourself. Tuck these notes into books, amongst the paperwork that you have to do, in your bathroom drawers and even amongst your lingerie. Lovely little surprises that appear just when you need them.

I started a Note to Self series on my Life’s Potential Facebook page many years ago, which continues to evolve. Note to Self came from an idea to create a dialogue with Self. It is a way to ask questions and then reflect on where the answers direct your attention. Using the power of positive words creates an internal environment for growth, healing and wellbeing.

The words we use and the story we tell our self creates our reality. So be kind to yourself. Encourage yourself and acknowledge all the achievements along the way. Each one counts.

 

Self-care Dates

Carve out some time to do things you enjoy, and that feed your soul. This can be anything from creating a lovely tea/coffee ritual where you enjoy the process in its entirety. Give yourself a mini facial at home or have a nice soak in the bath with candles, beautiful essential oils and some flower petals. Throw in some magnesium flakes and drift away. Book in a massage or give yourself a massage with delicious oils that support and nurture. Eat wonderful foods that make you feel good and hydrate well to keep your body and mind humming. Read a book – now that’s one of my favourites because I get to travel the world, live another life, experience new things and all from the character’s perspective. The list is endless, so explore and discover what sets your heart on fire, what inspires you and fills your cup.

 

Mindfulness and Meditation

I’ve studied different forms of meditation, so I could experience what they had to offer and to find out what worked for me. Including daily meditation has made a world of difference to my life, emotional and mental health. It’s helped me in times of stress, physical and emotional pain, fatigue, and it has helped me discover more about myself. The key here is regularity – making this a daily practice alleviates stress and helps you to live from a more peaceful state. It’s also a practice you can do anywhere, anytime, on your own or in a group. There are also lots of Apps to choose from as well as dedicated programs. Again, it’s about trying out a few to find what works for you. Here are just a few to help begin your exploration journey.

• Mindfulness meditation
• Body scan or progressive relaxation
• Breath awareness meditation
• Zen meditation
• Transcendental Meditation
• Guided meditation

Whatever you decide to do, start now. Even if it’s only one of the items above, begin and then add other things to build your Self-care Plan. If we wait until we’re ready, until the time is right, then we will never begin. So, choose one thing and have some fun!